"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
