Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
