mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
