I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
