He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
