why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
