Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We left the knife in your bed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
