It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
