So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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