I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is this the sara with the beer cane?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
