i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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