You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
