Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
