All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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