I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
