Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
