I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
