You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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