margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
