i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
