I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
