Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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