how can u be prego again
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
