Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
