The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
