when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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