I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
