Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't put those talents on a resume
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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