I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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