Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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