he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
