Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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