shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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