I just found puke in my bra..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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