i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
