I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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