Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
