I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
