I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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