Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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