i would punch a child for taco bell
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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