She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
