i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
