Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
