Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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