I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
