how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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