well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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