if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
