he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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