he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
And then he peed in my hair
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